










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 616 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 287 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




103 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2424 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1987 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2234 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2080 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,371,082 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cupra | 54% | 35 |
| #2 | Bober | 54% | 54 |
| #3 | RAUD | 54% | 138 |
| #4 | VoLa | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | Annelinn Väriseb | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Andrus Ansip | 48% | 56 |
| #8 | JokG | 47% | 53 |
| #9 | Funip | 46% | 52 |
| #10 | Jüri | 41% | 51 |
| #11 | Osama bin Laden | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAUD | 54 | 0.0194 |
| #2 | JokG | 19 | 0.0183 |
| #3 | ballerina capuccina | 18 | 0.0157 |
| #4 | Annelinn Väriseb | 15 | 0.0200 |
| #5 | Osama bin Laden | 11 | 0.0217 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAUD | 439 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | ballerina capuccina | 206 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Cupra | 121 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Annelinn Väriseb | 115 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Osama bin Laden | 78 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Funip | +2.69 | 78 | 53 |
| #2 | SHARPNESS | +1.06 | 63 | 43 |
| #3 | RAUD | +0.98 | 60 | 53 |
| #4 | Annelinn Väriseb | -0.04 | 45 | 59 |
| #5 | Andrus Ansip | -0.04 | 81 | 42 |





