








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 549 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1572 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,041 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1145 | 23% |
| Smokes | 752 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1791 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1353 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $715,631 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JORJI. | 59% | 61 |
| #2 | resende | 57% | 104 |
| #3 | Ehrcke | 54% | 116 |
| #4 | 𝗩𝗜𝗡𝟭 SKINS | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | Neymarcos #étoiss | 50% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 𝗩𝗜𝗡𝟭 SKINS | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | Neymarcos #étoiss | 50% | 107 |
| #6 | .Zandoneli | 50% | 26 |
| #7 | alicate de pressão | 50% | 70 |
| #8 | set777 | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JORJI. | 7 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Ehrcke | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | alicate de pressão | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Neymarcos #étoiss | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | resende | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alicate de pressão | 329 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #2 | Ehrcke | 292 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | resende | 219 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | JORJI. | 201 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Neymarcos #étoiss | 104 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JORJI. | +2.83 | 66 | 61 |
| #2 | resende | +1.71 | 82 | 59 |
| #3 | set777 | +1.00 | 84 | 55 |
| #4 | Ehrcke | +0.89 | 60 | 60 |
| #5 | .Zandoneli | +0.58 | 73 | 70 |





