








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 161 matches | ||
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3881 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,480 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1068 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2420 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2226 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2766 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,053,918 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 689 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just Jesse | 53% | 58 |
| #2 | Gmanrambo | 51% | 39 |
| #3 | Puneslasher710 | 50% | 66 |
| #4 | taiga | 48% | 85 |
| #5 | Veteran | 46% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | st0rmsyy ♡ | 63 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | taiga | 14 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | egg ✮⋆˙ | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Veteran | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Puneslasher710 | 5 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just Jesse | +3.27 | 71 | 56 |
| #2 | st0rmsyy ♡ | +3.13 | 65 | 53 |
| #3 | Veteran | +0.61 | 62 | 27 |
| #4 | taiga | +0.11 | 59 | 43 |
| #5 | egg ✮⋆˙ | +0.01 | 37 | 38 |





