








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 335 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




108 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4750 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,929 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2946 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2983 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3696 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6304 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,679,365 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1076 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✩Ascend✩ | 58% | 67 |
| #2 | taiga | 58% | 177 |
| #3 | Veteran | 58% | 368 |
| #4 | JuiceBox1855 | 55% | 53 |
| #5 | timmywalkemdownwitharpndswitches | 54% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | st0rmsyy ♡ | 196 | 0.0289 |
| #2 | taiga | 68 | 0.0196 |
| #3 | ✩Ascend✩ | 45 | 0.0334 |
| #4 | timmywalkemdownwitharpndswitches | 39 | 0.0214 |
| #5 | Veteran | 35 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | st0rmsyy ♡ | 565 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #2 | taiga | 532 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | Veteran | 264 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #4 | TheClassicNutt | 224 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | ✩Ascend✩ | 118 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✩Ascend✩ | +4.29 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | st0rmsyy ♡ | +4.01 | 63 | 54 |
| #3 | Veteran | +1.11 | 59 | 34 |
| #4 | egg ✮⋆˙ | +0.91 | 35 | 32 |
| #5 | taiga | +0.33 | 56 | 46 |





