








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
948 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,092 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 910 | 29% |
| Smokes | 585 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 695 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 902 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $179,611 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aaronlad | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | JLB | 66% | 38 |
| #3 | Zoot | 64% | 28 |
| #4 | xana | 64% | 33 |
| #5 | a idiot | 62% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | a idiot | 62% | 37 |
| #6 | c4put-- | 56% | 9 |
| #7 | trapzyy | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | Coach Parnell | 33% | 12 |
| #9 | brookszy | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a idiot | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | brookszy | 2 | 0.0187 |
| #3 | JLB | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Zoot | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Coach Parnell | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a idiot | 214 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #2 | JLB | 211 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | Zoot | 136 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | xana | 116 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | trapzyy | 76 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brookszy | +6.64 | 91 | 65 |
| #2 | c4put-- | +2.76 | 90 | 62 |
| #3 | JLB | +1.59 | 73 | 62 |
| #4 | Zoot | +0.84 | 78 | 78 |
| #5 | a idiot | +0.84 | 89 | 62 |





