








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 347 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4426 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,626 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3909 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4591 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2873 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3253 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $967,476 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xana | 67% | 91 |
| #2 | Tom | 66% | 38 |
| #3 | ANGELGUN | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | a idiot | 61% | 100 |
| #5 | aaronlad | 59% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Zoot | 56% | 289 |
| #8 | COOOOOOOOFFEE | 52% | 27 |
| #9 | clouds | 50% | 20 |
| #10 | Torque | 50% | 28 |
| #11 | c4put-- | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zoot | 19 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | a idiot | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | COOOOOOOOFFEE | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Tom | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Torque | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zoot | 1289 | 0.20 | 36 min |
| #2 | a idiot | 571 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #3 | xana | 284 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | Tom | 131 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Coach Parnell | 124 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COOOOOOOOFFEE | +1.67 | 94 | 67 |
| #2 | ANGELGUN | +1.64 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | a idiot | +1.51 | 91 | 63 |
| #4 | JLB | +1.26 | 78 | 61 |
| #5 | c4put-- | +1.21 | 90 | 64 |





