








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 642 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 451 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4086 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,007 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 725 | 8% |
| Smokes | 3367 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2175 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2740 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,543,096 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 868 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕⃤ roach | 66% | 56 |
| #2 | ClaireBear♡420 | 57% | 202 |
| #3 | z0rgan | 54% | 122 |
| #4 | andrea | 53% | 128 |
| #5 | mommy | 53% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ClaireBear♡420 | 57% | 202 |
| #3 | z0rgan | 54% | 122 |
| #4 | andrea | 53% | 128 |
| #5 | mommy | 53% | 152 |
| #6 | Jacob | 52% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mommy | 26 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | z0rgan | 19 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | ClaireBear♡420 | 16 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | ⭕⃤ roach | 8 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | Jacob | 7 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | andrea | 450 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | ClaireBear♡420 | 391 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | z0rgan | 231 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Jacob | 128 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | mommy | 127 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jacob | +5.21 | 89 | 64 |
| #2 | mommy | +3.17 | 80 | 43 |
| #3 | z0rgan | +2.57 | 73 | 69 |
| #4 | ClaireBear♡420 | +1.32 | 76 | 55 |
| #5 | andrea | +0.41 | 81 | 63 |





