








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 357 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6984 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,280 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8940 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7642 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6302 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5396 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $679,966 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 679 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | why you touch my tralalaaa | 59% | 39 |
| #2 | ✪za1nx | 48% | 58 |
| #3 | ✪ ruminate 金木 研 | 46% | 337 |
| #4 | -Markins- | 45% | 51 |
| #5 | S1CK | 37% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | why you touch my tralalaaa | 59% | 39 |
| #2 | ✪za1nx | 48% | 58 |
| #3 | ✪ ruminate 金木 研 | 46% | 337 |
| #4 | -Markins- | 45% | 51 |
| #5 | S1CK | 37% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ ruminate 金木 研 | 42 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | S1CK | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | -Markins- | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | ✪za1nx | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | why you touch my tralalaaa | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ ruminate 金木 研 | 1104 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #2 | -Markins- | 236 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | why you touch my tralalaaa | 127 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪za1nx | 117 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | S1CK | 92 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | why you touch my tralalaaa | +2.10 | 68 | 60 |
| #2 | -Markins- | +0.93 | 54 | 58 |
| #3 | ⚡dzZy | +0.69 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | ✪ ruminate 金木 研 | +0.43 | 49 | 62 |
| #5 | ✪za1nx | -1.22 | 28 | 56 |





