








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2585 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,959 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3123 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3070 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2636 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2130 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $484,639 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 382 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪za1nx | 63% | 43 |
| #2 | ⚡dzZy | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | ✪D/\DDy | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | ✪ ruminate 金木 研 | 57% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪za1nx | 63% | 43 |
| #2 | ⚡dzZy | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | ✪D/\DDy | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | ✪ ruminate 金木 研 | 57% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ ruminate 金木 研 | 12 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | ⚡dzZy | 5 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | ✪za1nx | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | ✪D/\DDy | 2 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ ruminate 金木 研 | 315 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | ⚡dzZy | 164 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | ✪za1nx | 87 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪D/\DDy | 46 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | why you touch my tralalaaa | +1.56 | 73 | 61 |
| #2 | ✪ ruminate 金木 研 | +0.42 | 55 | 61 |
| #3 | ✪D/\DDy | +0.35 | 46 | 50 |
| #4 | ⚡dzZy | +0.06 | 72 | 58 |
| #5 | ✪za1nx | -0.08 | 36 | 60 |





