








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 684 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 156 matches | ||
| Wingman | 140 matches | ||
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,102 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3206 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3811 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2423 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3662 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,999,468 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 806 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hobo | 60% | 43 |
| #2 | Mother Nature | 60% | 92 |
| #3 | Cowgirl Tendies | 56% | 142 |
| #4 | FlabbyTurtle | 54% | 39 |
| #5 | Kpax | 52% | 178 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KennySnaX | 21 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Kpax | 18 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Brodyc50 | 13 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | hobo | 13 | 0.0146 |
| #5 | Cowgirl Tendies | 11 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kronos | 550 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #2 | Mother Nature | 542 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #3 | KennySnaX | 418 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | Kpax | 227 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | Cowgirl Tendies | 202 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mother Nature | +2.31 | 91 | 63 |
| #2 | KennySnaX | +1.52 | 74 | 51 |
| #3 | Cowgirl Tendies | +0.88 | 74 | 41 |
| #4 | Brodyc50 | +0.82 | 78 | 50 |
| #5 | Sammy Cola | +0.80 | 83 | 60 |





