








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 242 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2845 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,483 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1863 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2241 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1207 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2172 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $878,731 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 252 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hobo | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Mother Nature | 59% | 56 |
| #3 | Cowgirl Tendies | 59% | 51 |
| #4 | FlabbyTurtle | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | Brodyc50 | 51% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brodyc50 | 20 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | Sammy Cola | 17 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Kpax | 11 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Cowgirl Tendies | 10 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | hobo | 6 | 0.0138 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sammy Cola | 459 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | kronos | 352 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #3 | Mother Nature | 349 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #4 | Kpax | 164 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Brodyc50 | 138 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mother Nature | +2.19 | 90 | 63 |
| #2 | KennySnaX | +1.72 | 76 | 52 |
| #3 | hobo | +1.49 | 87 | 59 |
| #4 | Brodyc50 | +0.56 | 79 | 52 |
| #5 | Sammy Cola | +0.52 | 81 | 65 |





