








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 740 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4823 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,849 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2854 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2743 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2876 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3376 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,567,985 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 344 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cowgirl Tendies | 57% | 119 |
| #2 | furLy | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | hobo | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | ZtraeHnoiL | 54% | 54 |
| #5 | WolfMus_ | 53% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brodyc50 | 25 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | KennySnaX | 23 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Sammy Cola | 21 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Cowgirl Tendies | 15 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | hobo | 13 | 0.0166 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sammy Cola | 378 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | KennySnaX | 325 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | Brodyc50 | 310 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | Cowgirl Tendies | 266 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | furLy | 187 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hobo | +2.52 | 87 | 65 |
| #2 | KennySnaX | +2.15 | 76 | 48 |
| #3 | Sammy Cola | +2.13 | 85 | 61 |
| #4 | Brodyc50 | +1.53 | 82 | 53 |
| #5 | Cowgirl Tendies | +1.09 | 73 | 40 |





