








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 497 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 320 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3556 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,463 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4859 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6212 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3612 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3780 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,189,063 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bluff!m0to #Gixxer | 60% | 67 |
| #2 | hixo | 58% | 104 |
| #3 | Yosh!m0to | 56% | 88 |
| #4 | Muhko | 54% | 98 |
| #5 | vesterlicious | 53% | 223 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | MhNQQ | 51% | 296 |
| #7 | zoos | 51% | 53 |
| #8 | j0naz | 51% | 289 |
| #9 | SpeedingMinion | 49% | 183 |
| #10 | Damkjaer | 48% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MhNQQ | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | j0naz | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | vesterlicious | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Damkjaer | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | SpeedingMinion | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j0naz | 1258 | 0.21 | 39 min |
| #2 | MhNQQ | 646 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #3 | vesterlicious | 604 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #4 | SpeedingMinion | 528 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #5 | Damkjaer | 305 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vesterlicious | +3.13 | 79 | 80 |
| #2 | swag | +1.58 | 76 | 66 |
| #3 | Yosh!m0to | +0.77 | 58 | 63 |
| #4 | hixo | +0.58 | 75 | 54 |
| #5 | j0naz | -0.04 | 62 | 80 |





