








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 455 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2219 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,187 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6396 | 37% |
| Smokes | 4362 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4518 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1911 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $682,694 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 523 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMC | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | Bluff!m0to #Gixxer | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | hixo | 56% | 34 |
| #4 | zoos | 54% | 37 |
| #5 | vesterlicious | 54% | 200 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | SpeedingMinion | 49% | 148 |
| #8 | MhNQQ | 49% | 206 |
| #9 | Muhko | 48% | 75 |
| #10 | Damkjaer | 48% | 67 |
| #11 | Yosh!m0to | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swag | 15 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | vesterlicious | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Damkjaer | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | MhNQQ | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | JMC | 2 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swag | 722 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | vesterlicious | 538 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | MhNQQ | 419 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | SpeedingMinion | 419 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #5 | Damkjaer | 263 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vesterlicious | +3.11 | 79 | 80 |
| #2 | swag | +1.48 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | Bluff!m0to #Gixxer | +0.30 | 69 | 38 |
| #4 | Yosh!m0to | +0.29 | 50 | 64 |
| #5 | hixo | +0.06 | 71 | 55 |





