








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 499 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2649 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,941 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3754 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2500 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3281 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2406 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $478,388 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 135 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMC | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | zoos | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | j0naz | 54% | 200 |
| #4 | Damkjaer | 53% | 43 |
| #5 | swag | 53% | 223 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Damkjaer | 53% | 43 |
| #5 | swag | 53% | 223 |
| #6 | SpeedingMinion | 52% | 147 |
| #7 | Muhko | 52% | 48 |
| #8 | MhNQQ | 52% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swag | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | j0naz | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | MhNQQ | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Damkjaer | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | JMC | 2 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j0naz | 849 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #2 | swag | 546 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | SpeedingMinion | 410 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | MhNQQ | 348 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | Damkjaer | 145 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vesterlicious | +3.17 | 78 | 80 |
| #2 | swag | +1.33 | 76 | 67 |
| #3 | j0naz | -0.32 | 61 | 79 |
| #4 | zoos | -0.91 | 73 | 59 |
| #5 | Damkjaer | -1.19 | 42 | 72 |





