








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,922 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1723 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1257 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1529 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1413 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $436,809 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cyfer | 53% | 30 |
| #2 | Swazzy | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | Dusty ヅ | 48% | 85 |
| #4 | rock | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | miLLahdakiLLah | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | BigDickNick77 | 43% | 42 |
| #8 | kkamm | 42% | 31 |
| #9 | Goose™ | 40% | 58 |
| #10 | Swagot | 36% | 14 |
| #11 | donuts | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paul Blurt | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Dusty ヅ | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | BigDickNick77 | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | miLLahdakiLLah | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Goose™ | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dusty ヅ | 334 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | Paul Blurt | 250 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | miLLahdakiLLah | 250 | 0.32 | 7 min |
| #4 | kkamm | 143 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | Goose™ | 112 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dusty ヅ | +3.52 | 88 | 60 |
| #2 | kkamm | +0.92 | 83 | 60 |
| #3 | miLLahdakiLLah | +0.64 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | Swazzy | +0.01 | 75 | 56 |
| #5 | Goose™ | -0.27 | 75 | 48 |





