








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 677 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2501 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,395 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1468 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1785 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2516 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2626 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,134,497 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 718 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tycaw | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | miLLahdakiLLah | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | Swazzy | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | NighaToe | 52% | 103 |
| #5 | Swagot | 52% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Paul Blurt | 45% | 102 |
| #10 | donuts | 42% | 24 |
| #11 | Archer | 40% | 58 |
| #12 | BigDickNick77 | 38% | 37 |
| #13 | rock | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Archer | 284 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #2 | Dusty ヅ | 241 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | Paul Blurt | 220 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | miLLahdakiLLah | 214 | 0.31 | 6 min |
| #5 | Swagot | 188 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dusty ヅ | +3.20 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | Swazzy | +2.30 | 77 | 59 |
| #3 | miLLahdakiLLah | +1.56 | 82 | 73 |
| #4 | Goose™ | +1.21 | 77 | 52 |
| #5 | tycaw | +1.07 | 58 | 68 |





