








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 96 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2149 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,160 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1196 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1388 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1355 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1221 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,121,175 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 402 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NighaToe | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | tycaw | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | rock | 56% | 39 |
| #4 | Swagot | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | Dusty ヅ | 54% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | donuts | 45% | 33 |
| #12 | Goose™ | 45% | 102 |
| #13 | Shark | 44% | 16 |
| #14 | Archer | 44% | 110 |
| #15 | kkamm | 37% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dusty ヅ | 14 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Goose™ | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Swazzy | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | BigDickNick77 | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Archer | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dusty ヅ | 554 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | Archer | 506 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #3 | miLLahdakiLLah | 361 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| #4 | Goose™ | 225 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Swazzy | 173 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dusty ヅ | +3.92 | 86 | 59 |
| #2 | kkamm | +1.61 | 86 | 63 |
| #3 | Swazzy | +1.27 | 69 | 56 |
| #4 | tycaw | +0.80 | 66 | 68 |
| #5 | miLLahdakiLLah | +0.76 | 76 | 72 |





