








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 199 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3309 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3007 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2319 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2616 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $795,529 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mace | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | Shark | 52% | 97 |
| #3 | rhetorikk | 51% | 127 |
| #4 | Argo :3 | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | spencer | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rhetorikk | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Shark | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Cr0n1X | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Dusty ヅ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Argo :3 | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cr0n1X | 543 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | rhetorikk | 422 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | Shark | 287 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Dusty ヅ | 270 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | spencer | 160 | 0.41 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dusty ヅ | +2.18 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | kkamm | +1.67 | 84 | 66 |
| #3 | Mace | +0.42 | 70 | 77 |
| #4 | Cr0n1X | -0.15 | 76 | 59 |
| #5 | Argo :3 | -0.23 | 75 | 55 |





