








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 447 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2919 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1421 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1565 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1931 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2271 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,072,838 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kosandra | 68% | 37 |
| #2 | Franz Schorsch | 60% | 200 |
| #3 | Jabba | 58% | 219 |
| #4 | SKZ 영원히 | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | peekay | 57% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jabba | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | peekay | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Franz Schorsch | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | friendly flasher :) | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Kosandra | 3 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | friendly flasher :) | 399 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Franz Schorsch | 386 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | Tommie2k | 292 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | peekay | 289 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Jabba | 280 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jabba | +3.53 | 60 | 62 |
| #2 | TjadeBiceps | +1.70 | 67 | 52 |
| #3 | peekay | -0.05 | 47 | 51 |
| #4 | Franz Schorsch | -0.62 | 42 | 71 |
| #5 | Tommie2k | -1.64 | 55 | 53 |





