








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 719 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Wingman | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2635 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,925 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2017 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3009 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2562 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2337 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,013,872 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kosandra | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | TjadeBiceps | 57% | 166 |
| #3 | Franz Schorsch | 57% | 180 |
| #4 | Jabba | 54% | 168 |
| #5 | Tommie2k | 51% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | TjadeBiceps | 57% | 166 |
| #3 | Franz Schorsch | 57% | 180 |
| #4 | Jabba | 54% | 168 |
| #5 | Tommie2k | 51% | 229 |
| #6 | friendly flasher :) | 45% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TjadeBiceps | 16 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Franz Schorsch | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Jabba | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Tommie2k | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | friendly flasher :) | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tommie2k | 450 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | Franz Schorsch | 389 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | friendly flasher :) | 359 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Jabba | 233 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | TjadeBiceps | 233 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jabba | +2.66 | 59 | 64 |
| #2 | TjadeBiceps | +1.23 | 66 | 48 |
| #3 | peekay | +0.48 | 50 | 50 |
| #4 | Franz Schorsch | -0.24 | 42 | 72 |
| #5 | Tommie2k | -1.21 | 54 | 56 |





