








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 807 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4711 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,987 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5027 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5386 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4529 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4045 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,170,809 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TjadeBiceps | 60% | 200 |
| #2 | Tommie2k | 57% | 125 |
| #3 | peekay | 57% | 180 |
| #4 | Jabba | 54% | 351 |
| #5 | Horizon | 53% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jabba | 17 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | TjadeBiceps | 13 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Kosandra | 13 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | friendly flasher :) | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | peekay | 7 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | friendly flasher :) | 711 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #2 | Jabba | 412 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #3 | peekay | 359 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Tommie2k | 321 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | TjadeBiceps | 277 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jabba | +3.70 | 61 | 62 |
| #2 | TjadeBiceps | +1.54 | 66 | 57 |
| #3 | Horizon | +0.58 | 65 | 69 |
| #4 | Franz Schorsch | +0.42 | 44 | 66 |
| #5 | peekay | +0.22 | 48 | 53 |





