








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 668 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Wingman | 68 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1679 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1549 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1722 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1737 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,236,035 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Franz Schorsch | 57% | 125 |
| #2 | TjadeBiceps | 55% | 121 |
| #3 | Jabba | 52% | 109 |
| #4 | peekay | 51% | 229 |
| #5 | friendly flasher :) | 46% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Franz Schorsch | 57% | 125 |
| #2 | TjadeBiceps | 55% | 121 |
| #3 | Jabba | 52% | 109 |
| #4 | peekay | 51% | 229 |
| #5 | friendly flasher :) | 46% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TjadeBiceps | 13 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | peekay | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Jabba | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Franz Schorsch | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | friendly flasher :) | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peekay | 404 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | Franz Schorsch | 341 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | friendly flasher :) | 307 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | TjadeBiceps | 200 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Jabba | 195 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jabba | +3.23 | 60 | 65 |
| #2 | TjadeBiceps | +1.54 | 69 | 46 |
| #3 | peekay | +0.68 | 50 | 52 |
| #4 | Franz Schorsch | -0.57 | 40 | 73 |
| #5 | Tommie2k | -1.38 | 53 | 55 |





