








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Renown | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 1,310 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
813 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,012 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 665 | 22% |
| Smokes | 918 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 712 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 717 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $427,717 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | katteng | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | crumb | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | nottna | 57% | 74 |
| #4 | helgon.net | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | bipo | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Xobust | 40% | 10 |
| #10 | BipoPtHCUAA9ZIn | 40% | 20 |
| #11 | Netflix protagonist | 33% | 6 |
| #12 | Alan Ivarsson | 33% | 6 |
| #13 | FIRESNAKE | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kvizten | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | eek-a-mouse (thedongbone) | 5 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | bipo | 4 | 0.0119 |
| #4 | nottna | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Rick Owen's downtown flat | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nottna | 372 | 0.27 | 11 min |
| #2 | Kvizten | 124 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | BipoPtHCUAA9ZIn | 96 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #4 | Rick Owen's downtown flat | 94 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | helgon.net | 72 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bipo | +4.68 | 74 | 69 |
| #2 | BipoPtHCUAA9ZIn | +3.29 | 87 | 62 |
| #3 | nottna | +2.21 | 69 | 85 |
| #4 | Alan Ivarsson | +1.69 | 57 | 76 |
| #5 | helgon.net | +1.46 | 52 | 75 |





