








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 280 matches | ||
| Renown | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1995 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1866 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1954 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2530 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2363 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,606,062 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kvizten | 32 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | nottna | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | eek-a-mouse (thedongbone) | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | helgon.net | 7 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | bipo | 7 | 0.0118 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nottna | 1534 | 0.30 | 49 min |
| #2 | Kvizten | 659 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #3 | Alan Ivarsson | 306 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #4 | ruNiz | 217 | 0.41 | 6 min |
| #5 | FIRESNAKE | 201 | 0.14 | 6 min |





