










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 669 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 287 matches | ||
| Renown | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2853 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,166 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4147 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3175 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3676 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3168 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,125,145 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 992 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BipoPtHCUAA9ZIn | 59% | 54 |
| #2 | Xobust | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | helgon.net | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | ruNiz | 53% | 51 |
| #5 | nottna | 51% | 258 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Rick Owen's downtown flat | 45% | 207 |
| #10 | katteng | 44% | 25 |
| #11 | eek-a-mouse (thedongbone) | 43% | 69 |
| #12 | crumb | 38% | 66 |
| #13 | FIRESNAKE | 30% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nottna | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Rick Owen's downtown flat | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | helgon.net | 6 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | eek-a-mouse (thedongbone) | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | BipoPtHCUAA9ZIn | 5 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nottna | 1628 | 0.31 | 49 min |
| #2 | ruNiz | 407 | 0.36 | 11 min |
| #3 | BipoPtHCUAA9ZIn | 295 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #4 | Rick Owen's downtown flat | 241 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | Alan Ivarsson | 208 | 0.25 | 6 min |





