








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2179 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,631 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1841 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1579 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1719 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1492 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $717,638 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 321 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pedro Raccoon | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | KOKKIES | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | ♕ MadCap ♕ | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | InFLuenCE | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | Tinky Winky | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ♕ MadCap ♕ | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | InFLuenCE | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | Tinky Winky | 50% | 22 |
| #6 | LethalSmile | 44% | 16 |
| #7 | Mellow | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♕ MadCap ♕ | 9 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | KOKKIES | 7 | 0.0170 |
| #3 | Pedro Raccoon | 6 | 0.0162 |
| #4 | InFLuenCE | 4 | 0.0143 |
| #5 | Mellow | 2 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tinky Winky | 91 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | KOKKIES | 69 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | ♕ MadCap ♕ | 64 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Pedro Raccoon | 31 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | InFLuenCE | 30 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | InFLuenCE | +2.91 | 83 | 52 |
| #2 | KOKKIES | +2.13 | 69 | 56 |
| #3 | Sunsunet | +2.09 | 72 | 61 |
| #4 | Tinky Winky | +1.47 | 69 | 65 |
| #5 | Pedro Raccoon | +0.83 | 54 | 37 |





