








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 965 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 430 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5469 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,985 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5194 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4674 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4697 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3420 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,110,080 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | InFLuenCE | 69% | 64 |
| #2 | KOKKIES | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | Naughty Noo-Noo | 61% | 193 |
| #4 | n1c | 60% | 170 |
| #5 | Township Elite (Looking for gf) | 60% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | n1c | 60% | 170 |
| #5 | Township Elite (Looking for gf) | 60% | 89 |
| #6 | ♕ MadCap ♕ | 50% | 28 |
| #7 | zexceed | 45% | 69 |
| #8 | Skaap | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naughty Noo-Noo | 17 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Township Elite (Looking for gf) | 10 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | InFLuenCE | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | n1c | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | ♕ MadCap ♕ | 5 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n1c | 640 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #2 | Naughty Noo-Noo | 594 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | Township Elite (Looking for gf) | 227 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | zexceed | 219 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | KOKKIES | 149 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | InFLuenCE | +2.73 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | Tinky Winky | +2.01 | 66 | 66 |
| #3 | Naughty Noo-Noo | +1.77 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | n1c | +1.21 | 73 | 62 |
| #5 | KOKKIES | +0.22 | 77 | 68 |





