








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 438 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 361 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 175 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2826 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2504 | 13% |
| Smokes | 6300 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 5116 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4780 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $866,994 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Necro | 53% | 51 |
| #2 | KarolisMic | 49% | 369 |
| #3 | IronPakiss | 48% | 253 |
| #4 | MG | 48% | 264 |
| #5 | Nsx`. | 48% | 326 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | IronPakiss | 48% | 253 |
| #4 | MG | 48% | 264 |
| #5 | Nsx`. | 48% | 326 |
| #6 | evute | 42% | 38 |
| #7 | WhatAFork | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KarolisMic | 22 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Nsx`. | 16 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | MG | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | IronPakiss | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Necro | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nsx`. | 1355 | 0.19 | 30 min |
| #2 | KarolisMic | 997 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #3 | MG | 881 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #4 | IronPakiss | 379 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #5 | evute | 76 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WhatAFork | +2.36 | 87 | 46 |
| #2 | Nsx`. | +2.02 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | Necro | +1.18 | 77 | 40 |
| #4 | MG | +1.14 | 66 | 70 |
| #5 | KarolisMic | +0.03 | 65 | 51 |





