








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 923 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 744 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6077 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,283 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4681 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5376 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6246 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4980 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,711,938 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 420 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kareivukas | 53% | 62 |
| #2 | WhatAFork | 52% | 63 |
| #3 | Necro | 52% | 192 |
| #4 | Nsx`. | 50% | 226 |
| #5 | KarolisMic | 49% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | KarolisMic | 49% | 215 |
| #6 | GoKu | 49% | 201 |
| #7 | ₣ƦƎɅꝄ | 49% | 287 |
| #8 | MG | 48% | 201 |
| #9 | Pikciurnaaa | 48% | 253 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KarolisMic | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | GoKu | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Pikciurnaaa | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Nsx`. | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Necro | 8 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nsx`. | 1020 | 0.20 | 24 min |
| #2 | MG | 732 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #3 | KarolisMic | 563 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #4 | Pikciurnaaa | 340 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #5 | Kareivukas | 146 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WhatAFork | +2.87 | 86 | 43 |
| #2 | Kareivukas | +2.87 | 61 | 54 |
| #3 | Nsx`. | +1.98 | 74 | 69 |
| #4 | GoKu | +1.10 | 71 | 47 |
| #5 | MG | +1.00 | 67 | 71 |





