








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 490 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 385 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,178 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6875 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6833 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6572 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4898 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $739,677 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WhatAFork | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | evute | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | JohnEnglish | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | Necro | 50% | 46 |
| #5 | IronPakiss | 50% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Necro | 50% | 46 |
| #5 | IronPakiss | 50% | 226 |
| #6 | KarolisMic | 50% | 284 |
| #7 | MG | 48% | 339 |
| #8 | Pikciurnaaa | 48% | 326 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KarolisMic | 13 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Pikciurnaaa | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | MG | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | IronPakiss | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Necro | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MG | 1123 | 0.15 | 29 min |
| #2 | KarolisMic | 748 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #3 | Pikciurnaaa | 489 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #4 | IronPakiss | 343 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | JohnEnglish | 83 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WhatAFork | +2.33 | 85 | 39 |
| #2 | JohnEnglish | +1.71 | 74 | 51 |
| #3 | Nsx`. | +1.67 | 73 | 69 |
| #4 | MG | +0.73 | 66 | 71 |
| #5 | Necro | +0.64 | 75 | 37 |





