








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 541 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 362 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3151 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,579 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4651 | 44% |
| Smokes | 2195 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 958 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 2775 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $952,595 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 571 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MG | 51% | 208 |
| #2 | Nsx`. | 50% | 284 |
| #3 | IronPakiss | 49% | 215 |
| #4 | Pikciurnaaa | 49% | 369 |
| #5 | Necro | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Nsx`. | 50% | 284 |
| #3 | IronPakiss | 49% | 215 |
| #4 | Pikciurnaaa | 49% | 369 |
| #5 | Necro | 46% | 41 |
| #6 | evute | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nsx`. | 14 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Pikciurnaaa | 11 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | MG | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | IronPakiss | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Necro | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nsx`. | 1170 | 0.19 | 26 min |
| #2 | MG | 694 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #3 | Pikciurnaaa | 551 | 0.07 | 14 min |
| #4 | IronPakiss | 300 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | evute | 55 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nsx`. | +2.33 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | MG | +1.03 | 66 | 70 |
| #3 | Necro | +0.74 | 77 | 42 |
| #4 | KarolisMic | +0.14 | 65 | 50 |
| #5 | evute | -0.19 | 58 | 55 |





