








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
742 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,626 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 647 | 18% |
| Smokes | 980 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1012 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 987 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $382,443 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kana | 50% | 16 |
| #2 | Möksy | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | ÜNGÜNGÜNGÜNGÜNGÜNG | 41% | 74 |
| #4 | KnobGobbler | 36% | 127 |
| #5 | mäxi | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KnobGobbler | 13 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | ÜNGÜNGÜNGÜNGÜNGÜNG | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | arttuj | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Racoon | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | mäxi | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KnobGobbler | 397 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | ÜNGÜNGÜNGÜNGÜNGÜNG | 114 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | mäxi | 86 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Racoon | 76 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | arttuj | 74 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kana | +4.31 | 73 | 48 |
| #2 | Racoon | +3.77 | 71 | 62 |
| #3 | mäxi | +3.34 | 69 | 58 |
| #4 | KnobGobbler | +3.33 | 79 | 61 |
| #5 | arttuj | +2.55 | 25 | 54 |





