








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
458 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 309 | 13% |
| Smokes | 674 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 922 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 425 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $260,815 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RM2k9 | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Dwept | 59% | 41 |
| #3 | roniber | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | Sex Bätääng | 54% | 79 |
| #5 | Tarvike | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sex Bätääng | 5 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Dwept | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | ✪geipoi | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Tarvike | 1 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | HeseJ | 1 | 0.0192 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vatsaröllykkä | 19 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #2 | ✪geipoi | 18 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #3 | RM2k9 | 13 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | Chicken_salad | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | HeseJ | 6 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hitomi Tanaka | +0.59 | 79 | 40 |
| #2 | Tarvike | +0.57 | 52 | 54 |
| #3 | Vatsaröllykkä | +0.46 | 66 | 66 |
| #4 | Sabo | +0.00 | 50 | 51 |
| #5 | Sex Bätääng | +0.00 | 57 | 61 |





