








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 309 | 13% |
| Smokes | 674 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 922 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 425 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $449,692 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RM2k9 | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Dwept | 59% | 41 |
| #3 | roniber | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | Sex Bätääng | 54% | 79 |
| #5 | Tarvike | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪geipoi | 199 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Sex Bätääng | 156 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Vatsaröllykkä | 154 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Dwept | 70 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Chicken_salad | 55 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeseJ | +1.73 | 44 | 64 |
| #2 | Dwept | +1.73 | 80 | 57 |
| #3 | Hitomi Tanaka | +1.62 | 79 | 36 |
| #4 | Tarvike | +1.23 | 52 | 53 |
| #5 | Vatsaröllykkä | +1.11 | 66 | 67 |





