








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2356 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 252 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 133 matches | ||
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 169 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8093 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,331 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9513 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4669 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 9820 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 5329 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,607,930 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪geipoi | 50% | 852 |
| #2 | RM2k9 | 50% | 105 |
| #3 | Hitomi Tanaka | 49% | 57 |
| #4 | Sex Bätääng | 47% | 53 |
| #5 | Chicken_salad | 38% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪geipoi | 50% | 852 |
| #2 | RM2k9 | 50% | 105 |
| #3 | Hitomi Tanaka | 49% | 57 |
| #4 | Sex Bätääng | 47% | 53 |
| #5 | Chicken_salad | 38% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪geipoi | 14 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Sex Bätääng | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Hitomi Tanaka | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | RM2k9 | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Chicken_salad | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪geipoi | 1629 | 0.10 | 42 min |
| #2 | RM2k9 | 223 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Sex Bätääng | 98 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Chicken_salad | 54 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hitomi Tanaka | 34 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vatsaröllykkä | +2.36 | 75 | 66 |
| #2 | Hitomi Tanaka | +1.78 | 82 | 40 |
| #3 | ✪geipoi | -0.27 | 40 | 69 |
| #4 | RM2k9 | -0.51 | 56 | 46 |
| #5 | Sex Bätääng | -1.23 | 60 | 57 |





