








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 347 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4601 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,671 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2834 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2809 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3695 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2333 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,046,687 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toumee | 58% | 55 |
| #2 | nonkind | 52% | 42 |
| #3 | Chicken_salad | 52% | 42 |
| #4 | VonTub | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | ✪geipoi | 46% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Chicken_salad | 52% | 42 |
| #4 | VonTub | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | ✪geipoi | 46% | 149 |
| #6 | Sex Bätääng | 43% | 129 |
| #7 | Dwept | 33% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sex Bätääng | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Toumee | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Dwept | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | nonkind | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | ✪geipoi | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sex Bätääng | 342 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | ✪geipoi | 294 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Toumee | 162 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | VonTub | 103 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dwept | 61 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toumee | +1.50 | 66 | 71 |
| #2 | Tarvike | +1.05 | 62 | 47 |
| #3 | Dwept | +0.88 | 79 | 62 |
| #4 | ✪geipoi | -0.59 | 44 | 68 |
| #5 | VonTub | -0.75 | 47 | 60 |





