








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1491 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 261 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 252 matches | ||
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 113 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9372 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,420 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12419 | 30% |
| Smokes | 12278 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 10237 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6486 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,447,744 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1738 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dwept | 53% | 57 |
| #2 | Vatsaröllykkä | 50% | 852 |
| #3 | RM2k9 | 49% | 98 |
| #4 | Hitomi Tanaka | 48% | 89 |
| #5 | Tarvike | 46% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | RM2k9 | 49% | 98 |
| #4 | Hitomi Tanaka | 48% | 89 |
| #5 | Tarvike | 46% | 149 |
| #6 | Sex Bätääng | 43% | 230 |
| #7 | Chicken_salad | 29% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vatsaröllykkä | 47 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Sex Bätääng | 18 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Hitomi Tanaka | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Tarvike | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | RM2k9 | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vatsaröllykkä | 1888 | 0.11 | 49 min |
| #2 | Sex Bätääng | 507 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | Tarvike | 337 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | RM2k9 | 216 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Dwept | 73 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vatsaröllykkä | +2.44 | 75 | 67 |
| #2 | Dwept | +2.17 | 83 | 58 |
| #3 | Hitomi Tanaka | +1.63 | 80 | 42 |
| #4 | Tarvike | +0.74 | 59 | 46 |
| #5 | ✪geipoi | -0.06 | 41 | 68 |





