








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 690 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 482 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4546 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,283 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7177 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7753 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6053 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6300 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,437,689 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lundinho | 52% | 50 |
| #2 | HALION | 51% | 79 |
| #3 | DjHoeFace | 48% | 46 |
| #4 | Thu | 48% | 63 |
| #5 | Skumleli | 44% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Skumleli | 44% | 81 |
| #6 | TتmmyMAn☭ | 44% | 39 |
| #7 | .s | 38% | 89 |
| #8 | bRUNOBANANI (it's a name) | 36% | 77 |
| #9 | ⛧ ☠︎ The_Darkness ☠ ⛧ | 36% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .s | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | bRUNOBANANI (it's a name) | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | DjHoeFace | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Skumleli | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | HALION | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .s | 421 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | Thu | 221 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | Skumleli | 200 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | ⛧ ☠︎ The_Darkness ☠ ⛧ | 197 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lundinho | 127 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thu | +2.36 | 84 | 61 |
| #2 | bRUNOBANANI (it's a name) | +2.35 | 58 | 51 |
| #3 | HALION | +1.48 | 59 | 48 |
| #4 | Lundinho | +0.25 | 52 | 72 |
| #5 | .s | +0.18 | 50 | 60 |





