








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1071 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 337 matches | ||
| Esplay | 63 matches | 1,874 | |
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5713 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2010 | 11% |
| Smokes | 5310 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5588 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4901 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,152,015 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 920 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BreMathias | 66% | 38 |
| #2 | Tobbitv | 64% | 59 |
| #3 | TatoH | 62% | 45 |
| #4 | Jungle Jonas | 59% | 63 |
| #5 | LaptopTORE | 58% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | .s | 43% | 46 |
| #14 | Supergizmo | 42% | 38 |
| #15 | TتmmyMAn☭ | 39% | 41 |
| #16 | SJUR | 36% | 77 |
| #17 | Skumleli | 32% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobbitv | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Jungle Jonas | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | BreMathias | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | SJUR | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | LaptopTORE | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jungle Jonas | 315 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #2 | TatoH | 252 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #3 | LaptopTORE | 210 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #4 | Lundinho | 190 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | .s | 187 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NisseFrø- *NoScopeGlasses | +3.73 | 69 | 70 |
| #2 | TatoH | +2.24 | 84 | 69 |
| #3 | Jungle Jonas | +2.00 | 65 | 73 |
| #4 | m1st | +1.50 | 54 | 51 |
| #5 | LaptopTORE | +1.23 | 69 | 84 |





