








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 805 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 619 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Esplay | 4 matches | 1,636 | |
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,028 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9616 | 28% |
| Smokes | 8559 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 9140 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6713 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,641,152 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 355 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DjHoeFace | 59% | 170 |
| #2 | Carl | 58% | 48 |
| #3 | Skaru | 54% | 54 |
| #4 | boog | 51% | 71 |
| #5 | FD GoD | 48% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | darknetz | 46% | 61 |
| #10 | SJUR | 44% | 81 |
| #11 | SolhaugN | 44% | 50 |
| #12 | EazyPanda♿ | 43% | 42 |
| #13 | bRUNOBANANI (it's a name) | 32% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DjHoeFace | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | SJUR | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | SolhaugN | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | ⛧ ☠︎ The_Darkness ☠ ⛧ | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | bRUNOBANANI (it's a name) | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DjHoeFace | 470 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | MystiQue | 331 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | ⛧ ☠︎ The_Darkness ☠ ⛧ | 301 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | SolhaugN | 235 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #5 | SJUR | 214 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DjHoeFace | +4.37 | 67 | 64 |
| #2 | SolhaugN | +4.00 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | bRUNOBANANI (it's a name) | +2.35 | 63 | 42 |
| #4 | FD GoD | +1.96 | 73 | 52 |
| #5 | SJUR | +1.89 | 60 | 68 |





