








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 798 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 250 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Esplay | 13 matches | 1,849 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5170 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,393 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5400 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5804 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2275 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 3914 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,320,717 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chucker | 56% | 63 |
| #2 | Magicloafus | 54% | 63 |
| #3 | Läderlappen | 52% | 168 |
| #4 | BananasStrikes | 50% | 242 |
| #5 | k0ldan | 49% | 234 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalashnikovalle | 21 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | NormalFeesh | 18 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | chucker | 11 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Läderlappen | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | k0ldan | 8 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BananasStrikes | 1041 | 0.20 | 31 min |
| #2 | k0ldan | 722 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #3 | kalashnikovalle | 613 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | Läderlappen | 372 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | NormalFeesh | 295 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chucker | +5.80 | 91 | 64 |
| #2 | vlr | +2.64 | 81 | 71 |
| #3 | k0ldan | +2.60 | 78 | 67 |
| #4 | BananasStrikes | +1.39 | 55 | 71 |
| #5 | Läderlappen | +1.26 | 75 | 58 |





