








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 531 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Esplay | 12 matches | 1,980 | |
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,513 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2989 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3955 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 837 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 2732 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $753,474 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 329 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | striker | 57% | 49 |
| #2 | morgonbånge #guccigang | 57% | 90 |
| #3 | Noname | 51% | 45 |
| #4 | Balla Thein Shawarma Wala Bebsi | 50% | 127 |
| #5 | vaalour | 49% | 234 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vaalour | 21 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | striker | 9 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | klipp | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Feesk | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | morgonbånge #guccigang | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vaalour | 873 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #2 | Balla Thein Shawarma Wala Bebsi | 512 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #3 | klipp | 394 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | morgonbånge #guccigang | 231 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | striker | 228 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | striker | +5.94 | 87 | 60 |
| #2 | k0ldan | +3.34 | 74 | 63 |
| #3 | vaalour | +2.10 | 77 | 67 |
| #4 | morgonbånge #guccigang | +1.40 | 69 | 56 |
| #5 | Balla Thein Shawarma Wala Bebsi | +1.19 | 53 | 67 |





