








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1893 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1970 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2510 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2164 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1762 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $880,948 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalashnikovalle | 17 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | vlr | 17 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Läderlappen | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | BananasStrikes | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Kobe Maguire | 5 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vlr | 650 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #2 | BananasStrikes | 575 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #3 | kalashnikovalle | 393 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | k0ldan | 322 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #5 | Läderlappen | 272 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vlr | +3.15 | 82 | 72 |
| #2 | k0ldan | +2.67 | 76 | 69 |
| #3 | BananasStrikes | +2.20 | 58 | 72 |
| #4 | Läderlappen | +1.42 | 74 | 59 |
| #5 | kalashnikovalle | -1.08 | 50 | 53 |





