








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
285 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 70 | 17% |
| Smokes | 53 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 148 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 146 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $148,475 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zapmonkey3 | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | KostkaBrukowa | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Józef Piłsudski | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Benito Mussolini | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Excel | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Józef Piłsudski | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Benito Mussolini | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Excel | 44% | 9 |
| #6 | tovhov | 44% | 16 |
| #7 | Karl | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benito Mussolini | 12 | 0.0353 |
| #2 | Karl | 5 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | tovhov | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Józef Piłsudski | 2 | 0.0136 |
| #5 | Zapmonkey3 | 1 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KostkaBrukowa | 27 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #2 | tovhov | 22 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Benito Mussolini | 10 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | Józef Piłsudski | 9 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Excel | 9 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zapmonkey3 | +6.14 | 59 | 28 |
| #2 | Benito Mussolini | +4.67 | 60 | 27 |
| #3 | KostkaBrukowa | +3.17 | 53 | 35 |
| #4 | Excel | +3.00 | 35 | 39 |
| #5 | Józef Piłsudski | +2.97 | 56 | 30 |





