








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 195 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2925 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,995 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1865 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1673 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1876 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2581 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,034,643 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 658 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zapmonkey3 | 56% | 161 |
| #2 | Józef Piłsudski | 51% | 55 |
| #3 | KapitanUkraina | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | Benito Mussolini | 50% | 195 |
| #5 | Karl | 41% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zapmonkey3 | 56% | 161 |
| #2 | Józef Piłsudski | 51% | 55 |
| #3 | KapitanUkraina | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | Benito Mussolini | 50% | 195 |
| #5 | Karl | 41% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benito Mussolini | 94 | 0.0277 |
| #2 | Karl | 30 | 0.0234 |
| #3 | Zapmonkey3 | 26 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | Józef Piłsudski | 8 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | KapitanUkraina | 3 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zapmonkey3 | 165 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #2 | Benito Mussolini | 162 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | KapitanUkraina | 135 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | Józef Piłsudski | 70 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Karl | 52 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benito Mussolini | +1.54 | 53 | 26 |
| #2 | KapitanUkraina | +0.78 | 36 | 66 |
| #3 | Józef Piłsudski | +0.66 | 53 | 37 |
| #4 | Zapmonkey3 | +0.18 | 40 | 20 |
| #5 | tovhov | +0.04 | 58 | 48 |





