








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 324 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




130 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2532 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,013 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 685 | 34% |
| Smokes | 541 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 328 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 459 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $654,061 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 549 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KapitanUkraina | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | tovhov | 56% | 84 |
| #3 | Zapmonkey3 | 55% | 104 |
| #4 | Józef Piłsudski | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | tovhov | 50% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Zapmonkey3 | 55% | 104 |
| #4 | Józef Piłsudski | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | tovhov | 50% | 195 |
| #6 | Farukgmyt | 47% | 19 |
| #7 | Karl | 43% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karl | 34 | 0.0252 |
| #2 | Zapmonkey3 | 27 | 0.0134 |
| #3 | tovhov | 15 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Józef Piłsudski | 11 | 0.0163 |
| #5 | Farukgmyt | 6 | 0.0176 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tovhov | 303 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | tovhov | 112 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Zapmonkey3 | 103 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | KapitanUkraina | 78 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | Karl | 65 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tovhov | +2.60 | 76 | 42 |
| #2 | Benito Mussolini | +2.10 | 56 | 25 |
| #3 | Józef Piłsudski | +2.00 | 52 | 37 |
| #4 | KapitanUkraina | +0.64 | 29 | 65 |
| #5 | tovhov | -0.03 | 57 | 49 |





