








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 148 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 91 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1533 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,554 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 513 | 20% |
| Smokes | 684 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 697 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 660 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,167,312 of utility $250 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Józef Piłsudski | 60% | 67 |
| #2 | tovhov | 56% | 161 |
| #3 | Benito Mussolini | 55% | 104 |
| #4 | KapitanUkraina | 50% | 32 |
| #5 | Karl | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | tovhov | 56% | 161 |
| #3 | Benito Mussolini | 55% | 104 |
| #4 | KapitanUkraina | 50% | 32 |
| #5 | Karl | 46% | 39 |
| #6 | tovhov | 19% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benito Mussolini | 60 | 0.0298 |
| #2 | Józef Piłsudski | 13 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | Karl | 12 | 0.0154 |
| #4 | tovhov | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | KapitanUkraina | 3 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tovhov | 385 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | KapitanUkraina | 128 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | Benito Mussolini | 114 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Józef Piłsudski | 100 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Karl | 45 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benito Mussolini | +1.85 | 52 | 27 |
| #2 | Józef Piłsudski | +1.43 | 49 | 35 |
| #3 | KapitanUkraina | +0.76 | 38 | 66 |
| #4 | Zapmonkey3 | +0.41 | 38 | 25 |
| #5 | tovhov | -0.02 | 56 | 54 |





