








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 732 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1794 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,200 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 751 | 18% |
| Smokes | 900 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1478 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1071 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,050,018 of utility $265 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 877 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πΏπππ | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | Kong | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | Atqu | 51% | 171 |
| #4 | samppi | 49% | 43 |
| #5 | Mitro | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πΏπππ | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | Kong | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | Atqu | 51% | 171 |
| #4 | samppi | 49% | 43 |
| #5 | Mitro | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Atqu | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | samppi | 4 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Atqu | 837 | 0.24 | 22 min |
| #2 | Mitro | 40 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Kong | 40 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | πΏπππ | 40 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | samppi | 37 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πΏπππ | +2.66 | 90 | 67 |
| #2 | Atqu | +0.98 | 72 | 69 |
| #3 | S0RSA | +0.13 | 63 | 46 |
| #4 | samppi | +0.08 | 73 | 56 |
| #5 | Kong | -0.66 | 69 | 55 |





