










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
539 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 596 | 26% |
| Smokes | 492 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 701 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 503 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $580,960 of utility $267 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S0RSA | 40% | 15 |
| #2 | Atqu | 36% | 91 |
| #3 | samppi | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S0RSA | 40% | 15 |
| #2 | Atqu | 36% | 91 |
| #3 | samppi | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Atqu | 11 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | S0RSA | 2 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | samppi | 2 | 0.0177 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Atqu | 412 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | S0RSA | 13 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | samppi | 4 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Atqu | +1.61 | 72 | 63 |
| #2 | S0RSA | +1.30 | 64 | 43 |
| #3 | samppi | -1.63 | 87 | 51 |
| #4 | Mitro | -3.15 | 72 | 49 |





