








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 887 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1769 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,073 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1015 | 33% |
| Smokes | 859 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 586 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 613 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $519,836 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Sniper | 46% | 37 |
| #6 | SANJU.EXE | 43% | 23 |
| #7 | MindFlower | 38% | 26 |
| #8 | ost | 36% | 58 |
| #9 | iibuller_2 | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ar5ena1_dk | 20 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | ost | 11 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | [Easy] Player | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Sniper | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | MindFlower | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Easy] Player | 228 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | ost | 196 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ar5ena1_dk | 123 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | SANJU.EXE | 48 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | MindFlower | 23 | 0.05 | 1 min |





